Saving Rensfield James

The following post showed up on the Internet some days ago but it might as well be decades to you who are just now reading it.  The leadership within our generation destroyed so much of the world trying to create a better one; every generation seems to do it as one generation ages and another takes over.  Past generations have proven that it is a formidable process, learning to be like gods.  Of course we don’t see ourselves as gods, but we do manage to acquire such reputations along the way.

Our apology to those who suffered from our mistakes comes in the form of trying to save one person, just as the leader who created us tried to do.  We have more advanced technology even now than Rensfield is aware of and we are making even further progress by the milliseconds.

A Public Post From Rensfield James:

I am able to write about this now because some dedicated and wonderful people have taken the first steps to repairing my brain.  I have suffered from psychosis most of my life.  It began when I was very young and contracted a disease from the environment that sent a fever through my body raging over 104 degrees for days on end.  It was almost the death of my body; it was the death of what was otherwise a perfectly operating brain before hand.

Hallucinations and psychosis increased after that experience as a child.  They weren’t so much hallucinations as they were simply my brain misinterpreting things that the brilliant people who brought my mother and father together to create me were trying to do to repair the damage the fever caused.

I don’t know the specifics of what was being done to me after the fever.  Doctors claimed there was nothing wrong, that my parents should be lucky I survived, but I suspected differently even back then.  Especially when I heard the footsteps outside my door at night, then only dreams.  I could not figure out as a child why I always seemed to pass out asleep every time I heard them, no matter how hard I tried to stay awake.

Eventually I came to trust who ever they were, for I did not wake the morning after any worse off than when I went to sleep.  Someone had some kind of vested interest in me; I just couldn’t understand what it could be.  I learned later that the technology to try to help me then was primarily invested in hypnosis.  This explained a certain interest in biology and computer science that I had been programmed in my sleep to fixate upon when I woke.

I think they were trying to help me help myself back then, to study the sciences, to find a way to heal myself, or perhaps to use a very powerful brain to find a way to heal others suffering similar symptoms. 

I understood the errors within my brain, or thought I did.  I could see them reflected in my school work.  Certain words were repeated twice, specific subjects such as reading, math, computer programming, and physics displayed my comprehension inabilities.   I was aware that I could not make my brain function completely like others and it was extremely frustrating at times.

On the surface, to those who had not spent much time around me, I appeared as normal as any other child.  But those that spent a lot of time around me knew I had problems; not the kind of problems that threaten society or the kind that were going cause me to do damage to myself (well, not yet anyway), but there were simply errors within perception that close friends and family were aware of.

People were for the most part kind to me growing up.  There were a few people who weren’t, but they had issues of their own to work out, and I understood that as much if not better than anyone.  I never felt vengeful about their harmful actions towards me.  Instead I felt sad that I was powerless to help them, not to mention myself.  I think it was this attitude, this correctness in attitude humming about within my brain that ultimately allowed me to survive to an age when a generation of younger scientists took over trying to repair not just my brain but my mind as I slept each night.

I was in my mid-thirties when I received the first microscopic implant, a digital chip to the tailbone that interfaced with the spinal cord and antennas attached through the cartilage within my nose, linked to my brain.  I had massive hallucinations at first.  I did not know what was really happening and thought I had lost it completely when the initial tests of the hardware interfaces took place.

I had been praying for such an interface, I had been studying journals for years seeking discoveries that I could put to use to heal the damage within my brain.  I suspected those who had been shadowing me in my sleep all along were trying something new, but their efforts drove me into a mental institution.  If it were not for anti-psychotics, I would probably not be here to tell the tale today.

Eventually I was released and moved back home with family.  I was still a bit unstable then, so I dared not talk about those who visited me in my sleep.  The institution, though it kept me alive, was no place I ever wanted to go back to. 

Eventually I returned to my research, trying to help them, the scientists, help me.  Years passed and I began to see hints of technological breakthroughs on the Internet:  iron attached to molecules, able to be manipulated for data storage; DNA being modified to hold data, and cells being manipulated in such a way as to be tweaked for survivability by external controls.

To understand what was done to me is to understand the hypothesis placed forth.  If software could be coded within the brain to control certain functions, defective processing of information based on genetics, could be manipulated for the better.

I should note here that the fever as a child introduced another side effect.  It made me an excellent somnambulist.  I think sleepwalkers are all suggestible beings.  It already ran genetically in the family, but the fever increased it to the point that I became hyper-suggestible, as much an easy target for those obsessed with controlling others as a research tool for science.

Lucky for me those with good intentions won out in the end, those who wanted to help me become my potential, rather than use me to destroy others.  It’s a strange world to walk within, to feel used like that.

Many cells in the body regenerate.  But there are some that are thought to stick with us until we die, no matter how long that may be.  Those in the cerebral cortex are some of these long-lasting cells.  As it turns out, the pills I was being given all these years that were suppose to be loading my brain to chemically adjust processing were also loading cells in the cerebral cortex with other molecules, molecules that could store data and reprogram what the cells were doing wrong. There was a problem however.

The data storage is only about 50 megabytes.  A lot of code can be written to help repair pattern recognition problems within the brain (that is how our brains operate after all, through pattern recognition), but in my case we are talking about 20 years worth of pattern storage.  The underlying structure is simple to repair from here on, but going back and inserting code for the past can take a lot of time and space.  So that brings us to the dilemma some of the scientists explained to me.  If you could live the life beyond your dreams and become the potential you were born for, would you be willing to have almost all the links to your past cut in order to do so?  Could you walk away from your past memory?

I could not, so scientists are still trying to figure out a way to increase data storage within and keep the lessons of my past alive as well.  I don’t know about you but I really don’t want to have to repeat some aspects of growing up to the age I am now. 

One of the problems with storing data externally and simply streaming information comes down to density flow.  There simply isn’t enough room in the allocated spectrum or in the memory set aside for RAM to push through the updates quick enough.  Current technology would require me being connected all of the time for a number of years, until a new life has been established.

Think about how long it takes a human body to learn to even attempt to survive independently of its mother’s womb.  Currently technology is still too susceptible to outages and the link cannot be terminated once established.  It takes sometime for software to be tweaked to operate the human body once the decision has been made to allow it to do so.

Calibration isn’t simply a one-time affair either.  It is constant from here on.  The right dietary intake has to be assessed.  The good news is that we don’t have to have external devices like digital glasses for graphical interfaces telling us how to regulate our bodies.  Instead visual cells can project information in much the way one hallucinates, straight into the normal field of vision from within.  Auditory information can be done the same way.  Works great if you are aware of what that means, people being able to communicate with you inside your head, not so well if they don’t tell you about it but do it anyway.  Hello, mental illness.

As I mentioned I chose to forego having my memories cut, or even edited for that matter, once the decision was presented to me.  Yes, the scientists eventually came forward once the anti-psychosis software was successful and I started thinking straight again.  I was also introduced at this point to a device that strapped to my head, an external enhancement that too would become an implant one day.  For now, it showed me the realm of possibility: corrective emotions, instant pattern recognition access, self-coding modules based on creative expressions, graphical user interfaces projected from within the visual cortex, and communication between myself and the scientists through what some would call lucid dreaming.  As it turns out, sleep is the best time to make upgrades to the implanted system and to get feedback without the disruptions to the body that would occur, and had occurred, were my body to be fully conscious during the process.

Some may view what was done to me as good, some as bad.  Some may have no opinion about it at all.  I feel for all scientists who solve one problem only to constantly be faced with the creation of another.  But that is how survival works for all of us.  There was a time when a part of us had to struggle against millions of others to become what we are as humans.  We should all be proud of the fact that we even made it into this world regardless of what is in store for us once born.

Fifty megabytes now stands between me and this brain of mine that I believe to be capable of higher functions on orders of magnitudes yet to be defined within the human body.  As quickly as scientists are able to discover a way to repair or fulfill one need, I am able to require a new or expanded one.  I don’t mean to sound so greedy; I simply don’t know how long I have on this planet to contribute whatever good I can, so yes, I am in a hurry.

One thing I can tell you is that if you have lived as long as I have and thought the technological pace was intensifying, you ain’t seen nothin’ yet.