Awe

There was a time in my life when twenty-five cents seemed like a lot of money. Then, it was the five dollar bill, the ten dollar bill, and so on until I began to realize having a mere few cents didn't seem to matter as much as much as it once did. “Why did that change?” I asked.

There was a time in my life where authors, movie and music stars seemed mythical to me. Their lives were faraway, distant, living in a world unattainable to me. Then one day I turned forty, and I realized many were still living. Some were my age. “What had I been doing with my life?” I asked.

There was a time in my life when I never thought members of my family and close relatives could ever die. There was this reality where I knew they would someday, but that someday seemed like it would be forever away. Then one day I came to the realization that few of the older family members remained. “When did I grow old?” I wondered.

I don’t know that I recognized awe for what it was as a child; it was simply a point of view I lived within. But having lost my sense of awe for a few years, I recognize it now, whether it is in the form of a penny I found as a young child, never earned but spent on that terrific penny bubble gum, or the books, movies, or music I once idolized, or that feeling of harmony in what was once a seemingly perfect world that could not be shaken from its family Christmas Eve party perch, despite the often imperfectness surrounding the daily lives of those attending.

There is certainly an ebb and flow to our experiences in life. A time when the world is full of endless wonder and a time when it seems as though there is nothing left to learn. Sometimes the world seems out of balance and then there are the moments when everything comes together in perfect synchrony. Respect, admiration, love, kindness, and care are but a few of the words I use to describe synchrony. Frustration, humiliation, anger, angst, and fear are but a few more that describe the loss of awe. I think, sometimes, there are cycles in the environment that we are more subject to than we like to admit.

Don’t ever lose your sense of awe.